Post-Breakup Care Package

Diane's on the couch looking like shit after the breakup, tissues everywhere. Brenda shows up with a coat on and a box in her hands. Tissues, chocolates, candles - usual breakup stuff. Then she hands over a note that says there's one last surprise. Coat drops. She's wearing a strap-on, big and ready. Diane's eyes go wide. Brenda just grins. "I know you wanted this for ages but he never delivered. Fuck it. Plenty of us out here who'll give you exactly what you need." She steps closer. "You ready for a real good time?"